Two days.

For two days my left ear has been ringing.

For two days now, I struggle to doze off.

For two nights, it wakes me up in the middle of the night, taunting me as if to say “don’t sleep, we want to play”.

I feel like I am losing my mind.

I am driving up to Scotland tomorrow, and will take diazepam with me to help me sleep.

Anyone have any suggestions?

On the bright side, had a session with the personal trainer today, and I can already feel it in my legs. This is going to be a good thing for me, providing I survive it.

My fave song this week?

Always knew I liked the original version ala Daft Punk - but knew it was missing something.
Now I know what that something is.

It has made me stronger. All of it.

1. NOT KISSING FIRST.
   Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out nonessentials.
   A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2. BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
   Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this.
   Well, there’s a difference between being erotic and lowing as if you’re trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3. NOT SHAVING.
   You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin, which you rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs.
   When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it’s avoidance.
4. SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
   Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair.
   Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5. BITING HER NIPPLES.
   Why do men fasten onto a woman’s nipples, then clamp down like they’re trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can’t stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently.
   Flicking your tongue across them is good.
   Pretending they’re a doggie toy isn’t.
6. TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
   Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you’re trying to find a radio station in a hilly area.
   Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7. IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
   A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you’ve ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina.
   So start paying them some attention.
8. GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
   Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants.
   If you’re going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.
9. LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
   Condom disposal is the man’s responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10. ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
    Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.
11. STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
    Women, unlike men, don’t pick up where they left off.
    If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast.
    If you can tell she’s not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12. UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
    Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid’s toy.
13. GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
    Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy.
    Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14. BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
    Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it’s all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you’re trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney.
    This is okay in principle, but if you’re not careful, it can hurt - so don’t get carried away.
    It’s best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15. MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
    You’re attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood.
    Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16. UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
    Don’t force the issue by stripping before she’s at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it’s just undoing a couple of buttons.
17. TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
    A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first.
18. GOING TOO FAST.
    When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she’ll soon feel like an assembly line worker made obsolete by your technology.
    Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19. GOING TOO HARD.
    If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.
20. COMING TOO SOON.
    Every man’s fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21. NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
    It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it’s more likely the mark of a numb vagina.
    At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you’re playing Marathon Man.
22. ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
    You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise.
    But if you really don’t know, don’t ask.
23. PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
    Don’t act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk.
    Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
24. NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
    Men persist in doing this until she’s eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It’s about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair.
    If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25. NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
    Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it.
    When she’s performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what’s necessary.
26. MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
    Don’t thrust. She’ll do all the moving during fellatio.
    You just lie there. And don’t grab her head.
27. TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
    In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them.
    In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
28. MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
    Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not.
    Caress her gently, so that she doesn’t feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner.
    And let her have a rest.
29. ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
    This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions.
    If you want to put it there, ask her first.
    And don’t think that being drunk is an excuse.
30. TAKING PICTURES.
    When a man says, “Can I take a photo of you?” she’ll hear the words”__to show my buddies.”
    At least let her have custody of them.
31. NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
    Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off.
    Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32. SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
    There is no less erotic noise. It’s as sexy as a belching contest.
33. ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
    If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she’s a Romanian gymnast, don’t get too ambitious.
    Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
34. LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
    Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate.
    Women don’t.
35. GIVING LOVE BITES.
    It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully.
    No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
36. BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
    Don’t shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It’s not a big turn-on.
37. TALKING DIRTY.
    It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900line.
    If she likes nasty talk, she’ll let you know
38. NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
    You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and
    she
    might even do the same for you.
39. SQUASHING HER.
    Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too
    heavily, she will turn blue.
40. THANKING HER.
    Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a
    soup kitchen.

Here’s to the crazy ones.

The misfits.

The rebels.

The troublemakers.

The round pegs in the square holes.

The ones who see things differently.

They’re not fond of rules.

And they have no respect for the status quo.

You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.

Because they change things.

They push the human race forward.

And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

I have been having a bit of a medical problem, and was discussing it on another board, and got onto a bit of a rant.

I thought I would share it with you, and see if any of you have had any different experiences.

(I removed the graphic discussion of my issues)

Looking back, nothing relieved my pain until they gave me Buscopan. I had tried everything, including the migraine-inducing Verapamil.

The pain kept me up most nights, and when I did drift off, I would be awoken just a couple of hours later with spasms, feeling raw and irritated, and being reduced to tears.

Some days were only manageable with either codeine or diazepam. Thank goodness for modern medicine.

Luckily, my surgeon is a gastroenterologist, and I will request to see him this week and request a colonoscopy.

Unfortunatly, I have worked for the NHS and have been a patient, and I know exactly what kind of beaurocratic crap each and every doctor must go through for each and every patient.

In socialised medicine (well in the NHS), for a referal you have to do the following:
1. Get an appointment with your GP - sometimes can take over a week.

2. If your GP thinks you need a referral, or if you have something wrong with you that they can’t or do not want to deal with, they get their secretary to send a letter off to a specialist - which can take up to a month to be sent. Sometimes this doesn’t happen for weeks or months because the GP may want to just observe the problem instead of referrring you - after all, they have budgets to adhere to and referrals deflect on them.

3.Upon recieval of your referral, the specialists secretary logs your letter and gives a copy to the specialist, who then decides if you need to be seen urgently - this can take up to another 3-4 weeks.

4. Then, unless you are urgent, you go onto a waiting list, which vary. Some are as little as a few weeks for a consultation, some as much as 18 months.

This process is for everything, regardless of severity. If you have an urgent concerm, your best bet is to go into an A&E (ER) department to get reffered directly.

Saying that, I had 4 visits to an ER before being admitted with an MRSA infection (which ironically was caught in one of the dirty hospitals here) last year - the infection site (abcess) at that time was the size of a tennis ball - grew to the size of a grapefruit before it was removed.

My little sister works for a major insurance organisation, and works with people who are always rattling on about how the USA needs socialised medicine. Once they visit a country with socialised medicine and realise that it would result in a lesser-quality of care and a increase in taxes much higher than what you would pay for insurance care, with no choice of who you can see, they soon change their minds.

The tax rates for the UK are:
Starting rate 10% up to £2,230 - so if you earn up to £2,230 you pay 10% tax on your wages
Basic rate 22% from £2,231 to £34,600 - so if you earn up from £2,231 to £34,600 you pay 22% tax on your wages
Higher rate 40% over £34,600 - anything over £34,600 you pay 40% of your wages.

Then you still have to make a co-payment for each and every prescription you need, and they are only allowed to give you 28 days worth at a time, to ensure that the government gets plenty of money out of you.

Would you want to pay 40% of your wages towards a system like this?

Don’t get me started on differences in the way medicine is practised here either.

Its safe to say that in my experience, if you get some types of cancer here, it most likely will be watched and left to spread instead of being removed (but hey, they will give you pills and hormones to try and “treat it”). I am a big believer in treating cancer agressively.

/end rant LOL

There is a great article over at FreelanceSwitch called 60 More Places to Get Design Inspiration - Online and Off.

Also, I have just rediscovered my love of COLOURlovers - check em out!

Before my gastric bypass surgery and massive weight-loss, I could not understand the issues of anorexia/bullemia - and did not understand why these people could not see how thin they are.

Now I understand.

Everytime I put on a new piece of clothing, I think “oh its gonna be too small, that will never fit”. And sometimes they are even too big.

I pass a large window or mirror and I have to look twice - “Am I really that small? Is that me?”.

It has even gotten to the point that when I shop for jewlery, I am still stuck in that mindset of “oh, I must get a longer necklace, bigger ring, larger bracelet, cause surely those normal ones won’t fit”.

We all struggle with issues, and for some our issues are harder to deal with.

I hope that anyone who is dealing with Anorexia or Bullemia and happens to see this gets the help they need.

Life is for living, and these two disorders are just a way of slowly dying.

Sacramento, Calif. resident Sara White, 20, faked being kidnapped to get out of a blind date. From the looks of her (i.e. crazy) and the sound of her elaborate hoax (i.e. crazy) she seems like a person who ought to be scared to go on a blind internet date because she probably also sent a fake picture and the numbers “36-24-36″ to her suitor before being sufficiently convinced he loved her for her “personality” to let him meet her “real” self in a local park, and anyone who would be lured in by that sort of person is probably a rapist in the first place.

Source - NBC news

Has she met Ann (Shoustal AKA Griffith AKA Raff)? Maybe they are related?

Perhaps she should have tried the popularity dialer in my links section?

Ok, so its 50 days until International Talk Like A Pirate Day, and I have come up with the following flyers for you to print out and distribute (one is UK and the other is International).

Click the thumbnails to see the full-size version (A4 size so get to printing):

69% GeekMingle²

I am writing this for two reasons, really.
1. To show you that writing something and then having it show up later is easy to do

2. I did not want to waste company time writing this, I wanted to wait and do this properly, not that you would ever consider having that type of standard.

I would have liked to have resolved my differences with you before I left the organisation, but unfortunately that has not been possible.

During my time with the company, you have bullied, harassed, abused, and disgusted me (as well as others) to no end, so therefore I leave you with the following message:

I honestly believe that you personally have cost this company hundreds of thousands of pounds due to your personal inability to manage or understand the project at hand or the technology. You should be held personally responsible.

Your lack of experience, training, and understanding of Information Technology, project Management and Social Skills concerns me, and should concern those in authority as well.

I empathise with every employee who ever has the misfortune of working with you, and hope that you are never in a position to manage staff again - thank goodness that the directors realised their mistakes and took that responsibility off of you.

You are a bully of the worst kind, and when things were going bad previously, you do what you always do and blame others. Unfortunately for two people before me, you were able to blame them and get them terminated.

Being a sexist pig doesn’t do you any favours either; neither does your racism, especially towards people of Asian and Eastern Asian decent.

Even after you were demoted to a glorified secretary, you continue to screw that up.

I don’t know what it is that you do at your desk all day every day, but it sure is not what you should be doing.

Working on business sites for your “mates” in company time does not count, neither does looking at property or selling stuff on eBay or writing on your blog (someone with any IT knowledge knows how to at least change the time stamp on wordpress), and neither does “digging” articles.

Proof of sites you have been working on in company time? I am sure that the company MD would love to talk to the owners of the site to get some ideas of when these were completed and how long they took to develop and what you charged them, I hope he docks your wages.
They can contact me for the details once they see this if they like.

Putting together briefs and specifications requires you to go out and actually meet with the users/clients. That doesn’t only mean the lady in accounts who you are dying to go out with. She wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.

Typing up work briefs requires typing - of which little is done. I (along with other people) have sat here for nearly 4 weeks with no work to do, as you are now in charge of typing up the specifications. Some people actually have to pace their work to ensure they are not as bored as I am. Do not think for one moment that people have not noticed. It does not take 4 weeks to get things approved and typed up. I have typed more in writing this than you have in 4 weeks.

Coming in to work each week asking the support staff how to install something on your server at home or what the command for something is or how to use some software just shows how little you know. The support team is not here to help your “business” (you nicked the name for it as well).

Using Dreamweaver and writing code that doesn’t make sense or validate does not make you look like you now what you’re doing, it just proves what an idiot you are.

On a personal note, I contacted The Immigration and Nationality Directorate after you continued to brag about creating their website and the sites for the Home Office. They have never heard of you, have internal staff that develop their systems and websites, and wanted your details to contact you about this.

I hope you don’t mind that I passed them on.
They were particularly interested in whether or not you pay taxes on your freelance “work”.

I also found out about the house that you made “100 grand in profit on”. Your best mate lives in that house and only paid about 60K for it. I guess your mate must really suck at Maths as well as having poor choices in mates.

I am not sure if your girlfriend is imaginary or not, but I can assure you that arranging appointments for a clinic in a village is not classed as being an “Orthoptist”.

Using her connections to view my medical information/notes/status/details while I was in hospital for an MRSA infection is not only immoral, but is also professional misconduct. And you didn’t think that the new NHS IT systems monitored that kind of material.

I have tolerated you as long as I possibly could, and if it weren’t for you, I would have considered staying with the company. The others in the office are pleasant, intelligent, hard-working people that have my respect, and the respect of their fellow colleagues. I have struggled to find at least one person who respects you.

I appreciate that in this world of deceit, there are people who attempt a “shift of focus” for there gain only and to have avoided accountability. However as you are about to discover, you can only play the “shift of focus” so often until it catches up with you.

In closing, writing this has been a way of putting this behind me and moving on.
I hope that you learn from this, as well as your other mistakes and compulsive lying, and use this a tool for reflection and further improvement.

And when things go really wrong for you, like they have in the past, just remember, Karma gets you every time.