PHP Engineer (ref #001)
$q1 = Are you a master PHP Ninja?
$q2 = Excel at object oriented PHP, MVC pattern, Smarty template engine, caching practices and PEAR?
$q3 = Familiar with CSS, Javascript, XHTML, MySQL?
$q4 = Experienced with Zend Studio, Subversion, wikis?
$q5 = Love open source? Aware of RSS, XML-RPC, web services, memcached and all other geeky stuff?
$q6 = Keen to learn much more?
$q7 = Ready to move to Silicon Valley?


if ( $q1 && $q2 && $q3 && $q4 && $q5 && $q6 ) {
echo “YOU SHOULD JOIN US! drop your resume to contact@grou.ps
“;
echo “please include some php and javascript code snippets or refer us to an open source project you’ve”;
echo “already made. tell us our coding mistakes in this call and let us know what you know about”;
echo “the new javascript 1.7, mysql 5.2 and php 6. thanx,”;
exit;
}
else {
die(”maybe next time…”);
}

These are two characters from television that SCARE THE BEJEEBUS OUT OF ME!!

The Burger King

Foxy Bingo

The character creators spent wwwayyyy too much time reading Stephen King’s IT. This is the kinda shit that gives you nightmares waayyy into adulthood.

Evil - EVIL shit indeed!

I am considering buying a Personal Media Player, and if you have time, I would love your opinion on this one.

Have any of you used the Creative Zen Vision W 60g before?

While attempting to get a list of tunes together for my upcomming wedding, I put together a list of great love songs - in no particular order.

Add yours to the comments section - I need more ideas please!

All You Need Is Love / Lyndon David Hall
Don’t Change by Musiq Soulchild
Fade Into You – Mazzy Star
“In Your Eyes” (Peter Gabriel)
You Do Something to Me - Paul Weller
Kady - Kenny Rogers
Anything by snow patrol
Lifehouse - Everything
Jeff Buckley - So Real
Anniversary - Tony! Toni! Tone!
One - U2
Angel – Massive Attack
Sia – Breathe me
Lifehouse - You and Me
Beck – Girl
The Cure – Love Song
Jeff Buckley – Hallelujah
John Mayer – Your body is a wonderland
D’Angelo – How Does It Feel (untitled)
Jill Scott – He Loves Me
Hold my hand - Hootie and the Blowfish
Freddie Jackson – You are my lady
Sign Your Name – Terence Trent D’Arby
The Roots with Eryka Badu – You Got me
Daniel Bedingfield - If you are not the one
you’re still the one - shania twain
Linger - The Cranberries
“No Ordinary Love” (Sade)
Paul McCartney “Maybe Im Amazed”
Amazed by Lonestar
“Kiss Me” (Sixpence None The Richer)
Lover, you should have come over by Jeff Buckley
Ice Cream by Sarah Mclachlan
You Were meant For Me - Jewel
jon bon jovi - ALWAYS
“All Of My Love” (Led Zeppelin)
A Woman’s Worth by Maxwell
“You Got To Let Love Rule” (Lenny Kravitz)
Christopher Cross and Dudley Moore - Arthur’s Theme
“Secret Smile” (Semisonic)
“How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You” (Marvin Gaye)
“Let’s Stay Together” (Al Green)
Savage Garden - Truly, Madly, Deeply
James Taylor…Fire & Rain
“she will be loved” (Maroon 5)
corrs - only when i sleep
Complicated Melody - India Arie
Give A Little Bit- Supertramp
“Kiss” (Prince)
Baby, I Love Your Way - Peter Frampton
Faithfully - Journey
everlong - foo fighters
Dido - Here With Me
Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars
Love To Love You Baby - Donna Summer
Three Times a Lady – Commodores
Never Tear Us Apart - INXS
Do That to Me One More Time - Captain & Tennille
Barry White’s “Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe,”
“Happy Together” (The Turtles)
Your Love is King - Sade
Honeydrippers - Sea of Love
“Suddenly” (Billy Ocean)
“Sign Your Name” (Terence Trent D’arby)
“Nobody Does It Better” (Carly Simon)
“Wonderful Tonight” (Eric Clapton)
“We Go Together” (John Travolta/Olivia Newton John, from the Grease Soundtrack)
“Thank You” (Led Zeppelin)
“She” (Elvis Costello)
are you gonna be my girl – jet
get Up – James Brown
INXS - Never Tear Us Apart
You’ve made me so very happy – Blood Sweat & Tears
Mercy mercy Me – Marvin Gaye [Detroit mix]
I want you – Madonna
Wicked game - Chris Isaak
“Truly” (Lionel Richie)
“The Sweetest Thing” (Lauryn Hill)
“I Belong To You” (Lenny Kravitz)
“Tonight I Celebrate My Love For You” (Roberta Flack & Peabo Bryson)
With or Without You U2
“Sometimes When We Touch” (Dan Hill)
“You’re My First, My Last, My Everything” (Barry White)
“It Had To Be You” (Harry Connick, Jr.)
Come Away with Me- Nora Jones
“From This Moment” (Shania Twain & Brian White)
Heaven by DJ Sammy (candlelight remix)
Let Forever Be - Chemical Brothers
“Crazy For You” (Madonna)
“Every Breath You Take” (The Police)
“Just The Way You Are” (Billy Joel)
“Kiss From A Rose” (Seal)
“She’s Got A Way” (Billy Joel)
“Songbird” (Fleetwood Mac)
“Take My Breath Away” (Berlin)
“Truly, Madly, Deeply” (Savage Garden)
“You Are The Sunshine Of My Life” (Stevie Wonder)
“You’ve Got A Friend” (James Taylor)
“You’re Still The One” (Shania Twain)
“At Last” (Etta James)
“True” (Spandau Ballet)
“We’ve Got Tonight” (Bob Seger)
“Woman” (John Lennon)
“You Are So Beautiful” (Joe Cocker)
“Crash” (Dave Matthews Band)
“Ice Cream” (Sarah MacLachlan)
“Let’s Get It On” (Marvin Gaye)

ad divorce court today - been doing this since August of 2004 - yes that is right, 2004.

This was another court date that I thought would not resolve anything, but things got interesting - it looks like his attorney’s “forgot” to file his sworn legal documents. I was thinking OH NO, not another 6 week wait for ANOTHER court date.

Anyways, the ex starting sweating it knowing that the courts would come down on him hard for this, sooooo, he agreed to all of my terms, and I was able to squeeze an extra 10K out of the deal (he still lives in the family marital home with his new pregnant girlfriend). This will also allow him to keep the house without any major financial difficulty - so everyone wins.

So, within 3 weeks time I will officially be divorced with a large chunk of cash in the bank!

I am sooooooooooooo happy!

I plan on making a “just divorced” sign for my car - does anyone else have any suggestions on celebrating such a wonderful event?

Who would you find harder to work for… Basil Fawlty (Fawlty Towers) or David Brent (The Office)?

There’s a reason why the most n.a.s.t character in the Revenge of the Nerds movie series is named “Booger.”

It’s because boogers are nasty.

For some people picking your nose is an occasional necessity, for others it’s like they’re digging for gold.

This one person I know is always digging for gold, everyday about the same time. Just because I am busy with something else does not mean I don’t see you digging. And don’t think for one moment I don’t witness you eating it, too, sometimes pretending that you’re just biting your fingernails. Who the fuck bites their fingernails after picking a monsterous booger out of their nose?

Now what are you supposed to do when someone like that digs and then hands you something or sticks out his hand for a handshake? Boogers are like having an emo cousin…it’s necessary for good health to occasionally bring them out into the sunlight, but better for society if you hide them from everyone.

Dumping Syndrome.

It occurs when I eat something that for one reason or another, does not agree with my new stomach and intestines. I don’t know that this is occuring until about 15-30 minutes after a meal.

The rapid “dumping” of food triggers the pancreas to release excessive amounts of insulin into the bloodstream.

This is what I experience when I dump: shortly after eating a food I can’t tolerate I begin to feel a bit disoriented, maybe dizzy and then an overall sense of confusion or panic takes over my mind and body. My heart starts to palpitate and I feel as if it is going to jump out of my chest.

This is a mild state of delirium. Then I begin sweating. During this state of sweaty panic I feel like I’m out of my mind! Once during an extremely dramatic dumping episode I literally thought I was dying, the state of distress was that severe.

Sometimes this is occompanied by being violently ill.

I know the event is starting to pass when the sense of panic is replaced by exhaustion and cold chills instead of sweating.

The mild delirium associated with dumping is the result of an interruption of nerve impulses affecting cerebral metabolism. This mild delirium is characterized by a reduced ability to maintain attention to surroundings or disorganized thinking. The daily routine can become confusing. In extreme cases a person who is dumping may experience rambling, irrelevant or incoherent speech.

Through trial and error I can predict most things that make me dump and I avoid them contemptuously. it is still early days yet so some things I just don’t know about.

There is no way to stop this once it starts, but lying down helps. So you may see me with my head on my desk after lunch sometimes, as this is as close as I can get to laying on my right side.

If you want to read more about Dumping Syndrome, the Mayo clinic has an article at http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00715.html

This video may help some people understand the difficulty of communication in austism.

The internet is now public conciousness and videos, like these, will soon unite us in ways never thought possible.

AirTran is defending itself today for removing a screaming toddler and her family from a flight bound for Boston.

“The flight was already delayed 15 minutes and in fairness to the other 112 passengers on the plane, the crew made an operational decision to remove the family,” AirTran spokeswoman Judy Graham-Weaver said, ” [The toddler, a three year old named Elly] was climbing under the seat and hitting the parents and wouldn’t get in her seat.”

The family was compensated to the tune of “$595.80, the cost of the three tickets,” and “flew home the next day.

They also were offered three roundtrip tickets anywhere the airline flies,” but the father said they’d never fly AirTran again.

This, of course, means we are suddenly more interested in flying AirTran for the no psychotic toddler policy.

There are other people on the plane, and if you can’t control your kid you need to be removed rather than ruin/delay the flight for everyone else.