Ok, so its 50 days until International Talk Like A Pirate Day, and I have come up with the following flyers for you to print out and distribute (one is UK and the other is International).

Click the thumbnails to see the full-size version (A4 size so get to printing):

September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

International Talk Like A Pirate Day began in the mists of the 1990s, when two Yankees, John Baur (Ol’ Chum Bucket) and Mark Summers (Cap’n Slappy), be talkin’ like pirates all o’a sudden.

They decided that, to further the noble causes of the sweet trade of piracy, September 19 each year be the day when all souls over the world should be talkin’ like pirate.

Marie Curie Cancer Care be runnin’ their annual Pirate Day appeal too. Can ye get people to sponsor ye to go to work or school dressed as a pirate? Can ye keep the accent up all day? The link be at http://www.mariecurie.org.uk

Will anyone be participatin’?

Arrr, thar be plunderin’ ta be done!

I feel as if lately I haven’t been doing enough to support the anti-war movement.

If you know of anyway I can help, please let me know.

Below is one of my favourite anti-war songs. We need more of them!

Keira Knightley attended the Pirates of the Caribbean premiere in London today looking like she’s just come out of a 9-hour coke binge at Studio 54 in the 70s.

I’m all for that kind of look, but Keira doesn’t have the attitude to go with it.

I will say that seeing a chick with small breasteses and loving it is kind of refreshing.

I usually bombard you with breasts made out of plaster and concrete, so this is a nice change.

However, she’s probably no fun to titty-screw.

Things to do to celebrate international talk like a pirate day:

ignore the 1st 5 people who say good morning to you - or just respond with a single half hearted arrr”.

to signal at the end of the conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and wink - if you’re wearing an eye patch, no one will know, so grimace.

leave your fly open for one hour. if any one points it out, say. ” sorry , i
prefer it this way, arrrrr”.

walk sideways to the photocopier - this is to practice getting off the ship.

use your highlighter pen on the computer system - hell, draw a pirate flag!

say to your boss ” I be liking your style, matey, arrrrr”, wink, and shoot him with double barrelled fingers

kneel infront of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle - if anyone asks, tell them ” I be parched from swabbing the decks, arrr”.

shout random numbers whilst someone is trying to count, followed by a parrot squawk.

everytime you get an email, shout “EMAIL, wench”.

call the IT help desk and tell them that you cant seem to access any pirate or wench pornography web sites.

From 2-3 PM, refer to everyone you speak to as captain dave

in a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter,
” arrr, ye bilge rats, shut up, arrrr damn it all of you Bilge-suckers just shut up and get back into the bung hole”

September 19th — next Monday — be International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Thank ye kindly to the thousands o’ pirates who already be signin’ up at Mad Cap’n Tom’s

I have been reading about this “interesting religion” Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - and since I love all things piratey, it appeals!

Some of the beliefs include:

* The Universe was created by an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster.
All evidence pointing towards evolution was intentionally planted by this being.

* Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s. A graph showing the inverse correlation between the pirates and global temperatures was also provided. This was presumably intended to highlight the logical fallacy of correlation implying causation.

* Bobby Henderson is the “prophet” of this religion.

Codes of conduct

* Prayers are ended with the word “RAmen” rather than “Amen”.
* Followers are expected to dress in full pirates’ regalia.

Benefits of conversion:

Henderson initially gave the following reasons for converting to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism:

* Like the noodles they worship, Flying Spaghetti Monsterists have flimsy moral standards.

* Every Friday is a religious holiday.

* Promise of a stripper factory and a beer volcano in Heaven.

Well, I think that has most of you intereset

To visit his site, click here…

click here to buy one…