As some of you may know, we have had some really nice weather this week, and I have tried very hard to relish every minute of it.

Me and my friend Emma decided to spend Wednesday afternoon sipping a few beverages in a beer garden, watching the meffs go by, and taking in the sun - I proceeded to catch a bit more that I wanted, but as you can see from the photo, it was not as bad as I thought it would be:

Against everything that I have learned from Heather, I am tempted to get some sun this summer.

I ask you my readers, do you prefer Pale on Sunkissed - and why?

Being unemployed has some upside, it allows me some time to contemplate things in the past, present, and future, and the opportunity to evaluate everything around me.

As I sit here in Starbucks, on my own with my Oprah magazine (I know that admitting that I read such a publication by the female incarnate of satan will make you all cringe - but it makes me feel that little closer to home), I notice a woman at a table nearby reading a magazine, and on her own as well.

She is much older than me, well dressed, pretty even. I wonder if, like me, she feels lonely in this shopping centre full of people. Is she single? kids? Does she have a career that is fulfilling?

I wonder if I am staring at my future. She looks content, so maybe that isn’t such a bad thing.

As a child, we are taught that you must get married, have kids, buy a house, drive 2 cars and all of that - but are those things really that important?

I have come to the realisation that no, they are not, and life is too short to adhere to some bullshit that society dictates.

I am happy being single, being independent, and having my own opinions, and I will be damned if I am ever repressed by anyone again.

If society doesn’t like it, tough.

As someone who has ADD/ADHD, poor impulse control is something that I struggle with on a daily basis, and causes numerous issues with communication.

To add fuel to the fire, people who have ADD/ADHD tend to intterupt conversations, and even change the subject, much to the irritance of those around them.

Here is an example:

A few years ago, I went on a road trip with a friend through the countryside. Since he was doing the driving, I had the opportunity to just sit, enjoy the scenery, and have conversation.

My friend was talking to me about his new job, and issues he was having settling in and worries about his performance - something that was very important to him. In fact, one of the reasons we went on this trip was to discuss the things going on with each other, and me being a passenger would allow me to concentrate on the conversation (nice theory).

Suddenly, I stated “excuse me a moment, did you see that old car over there?”. He said “What are you on about” and gave me an evil look.

I said “I was talking about that car that we passed - did you see it - it was an old American Mustang”.

The next thing I knew, my friend was upset. “Haven’t you been listening to what I was saying?” he asked. “You know how hard it is for me to talk about these things, and now you are not even paying attention. That has really wound me up!”.

I said “Of course I was listening”. Sheesh, what was his problem? After all, I did say excuse me.

But to my mate, it was exactly like I had butted into the conversation. Here he was talking about something very important to him, and since I am a friend who sincerely cares about him, I should not have interuppted while he was telling me about his deepest darkest fears.

Often, people with ADD/ADHD will interupt communication with their friends or partner by saying “excuse me, I don’t mean to interupr the conversation, but…” and then change the subject completly.

To the person with ADD/ADHD, this is perfectly valid. It is not an attempt at being rude, even though it certainly feels that way to those around them.

What is happening is that AT THAT VERY MOMENT is that the ADD/ADHD person gets a thought in their head. They feel a TREMENDOUS amount of pressue to get this thought into the conversation. So they butt in, albeit politely. We sometimes assume that if we ask politely, those around us will not have a problem with this. I have to often remind myself that people do.

What is taking place in the mind of the ADD/ADHD person when this happens?

People with a hyperactive/impulsive ADD/ADHD have a brain that races a million miles a minute. It is constantly rushing from one thought to the next - one of the pluses and drawbacks of having ADD/ADHD.

In conversation, if something is said that sparks another, seemingly unrelated, thought in their mind, THAT thought will catch their attention. But because our minds rush around so fast, we also know that the new thought may only stay in our minds for a split second. We believe that it’s important information to give you even though it may totally be unrelated to what we may be talking about. Fearful that this important thought may be lost forever in the ever-rushing flood of other thoughts, we blurt out, as politely as we can in the intensity of the moment “excuse me, I don’t mean to change the subject but…” - and in that instant we a re off and running. We are afraid that if we don’t say it THAT INSTANT that it will be gone forever.

All of this makes sense as to why there is so much intensity in our conversations. We do not intend to sabotage other people’s sense of significance, and this is something I personally struggle with.

If you could imagine that you were a “prisoner of the moment” and had something incredibly important to say and had to say it NOW, and you could not, you could start to understand what this is like for some of us.

When people with ADD/ADHD are forced to wait for their turn in conversation, and wait, and wait, and wait, we feel like we are insignificant.

One method that I use to control this behaviour in meetings is to take a notepad and pen and take notes. This way, when one of those wonderful rushing thoughts comes in, I can jot it down and wait for the appropriate time to speak.

I would love to hear about any coping methods that others have in regards to this.

One way that people with ADD/ADHD try to show our partners how much we love them is by finishing their sentences for them. That is a whole other kettle of fish, but I will get around to it - eventually!

/end swoon

(click the thumbnail to see full size)

The last few weeks have been great, and although I have neglected this blog, I am determined to pull my finger out and write more.

Over the last few months, I have been more and more interested in different sporting events, and have been amazed and bewildered at some of the things I have witnessed.

I am actually surprised at how much I enjoy going to these events, because it is something that I never considered in the past.

I have attended a few football matches that have really gotten me interested in the sport.
It isn’t just the game that fascinates me, but everything that goes along with it, especially the atmosphere.

There is one instance in particular, where someone was giving running commentation, that I cannot fail to mention.

Boxing Day (the day after Christmas), I went to a Hull City game that I will never forget.

We played the Wolverhampton Wanderers, and one of their players happens to be a gypsy - apparently part of his contract states that he has to live in a house. Anyways, some of the guys in front of us were doing a great commentary, and one shouted out “I bet you had roast hedgehog for your Christmas dinner”. It still tickles me to hear this.

I have been happily surprised to also see that a majority of the negative connotations about football are untrue. I have seen very little racism, only a couple of small fights in the away stands, and generally a great love towards fellow team supporters. Sure there is swearing and some taunting, but all in all, I wouldn’t miss a thing. This is definetly a sport you want to encourage the whole family to get involved with - I cannot wait to take Ariel to a game.

A couple of weeks ago we went to see professional darts in Sheffield - what an eye-opening experience!

I expected to get there and see lots of old men smoking pipes and drinking ales, but that misconception couldn’t have been further from reality.

The crowd was a very young, and very chavvy (white trash) clientele. This made it all the more fun, as everyone was relaxed and there to have a good time.

We supported a darts player from Canada called Darth Maple, and took along light sabres to cheer him on with.

We had a great time with these, and the guys in the rows next to us were using them as microphones to sing into when the players made a good score.

And last, but not least, the hockey. We went to yet another game yesterday, and had an absolute laugh!

It was the Hull Stingrays vs the Manchester Phoenix, and man did we annihilate them!

We got to meet the mascot:

Cropper made ordering hotdogs look sexy (too bad they weren’t REAL dogs):

We got to meet some of the Player’s wives (I should go into a rant about the type of person minority sports attract - i.e. obese, socially retarded, LOUD, etc. but I will leave that for another time):

We then got to see a fight:

Went for a drink with the buddies, and then we walked back to my car in the snow:

(check out my new AMAZING bag - thank you honey)

All in all, a great time was had - and although in the past I have slated sport and never understood it, I am really into it now.

I have just updated my weight ticker and have only realised:

• Not only have I lost more weight, I am now within a “NORMAL” BMI Range
• I am within 10 pounds of my goal weight
• I have lost, in total so far, 151 pounds.
• I am now a US size 10/12 - something I haven’t been since I was about 12 years old
• I can wear small/medium sized stockings

Two years ago, I woke up each morning wondering what I was going to wear to hide my fat, and when I was going to eat again.

Amazingly, I have completly changed my attitude towards food and exercise, and I could not be happier.

Now, I often park outside of town and walk to work. Yes, me, walk. I don’t get out of breath, my feet don’t hurt, and quite often, I wear some very sexy shoes. With heels and everything!

I am so happy about my progress and how far I have come, it brings me to tears.

Tears of joy are something I have only experienced very rarely in the past, and lately, they have made a more regular appearance in my life.

Thank goodness for waterproof mascara. Maybe it IS maybeline!

Last Thursday, I have the lovely opportunity to see the Darts Championships live in Sheffield.

We supported Darth Maple, and although he lost, we had a great time.

Here are some photos:

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It’s something I haven’t done in awhile, so I thought I’d try answering reader questions today.

You can ask me anything you want, from the personal to the professional to the philosophical and anything else you can think of.

I can’t claim to have expert answers on anything, but I’ll do my best, and will profess ignorance when applicable.

Today I’m going to expand to answering 50 questions. If I get busy, I might not answer them right away. If I don’t get to your question, I apologize!

After I answer the 100 questions, I’m done!

I hope everyone enjoys this fun little feature.

So: Ask me anything you want!